Healthy Relationships

Coercive Control

Taken from Reaching and Teaching Teens

Coercive lines are used in an attempt to convince a person to do something they might not want to do. Some lines may feel good to hear (e.g., "You're the only one who really understands me."), but understand these lines may imply more than a compliment.

Below are several types of coercive lines and examples of each. Think about and practice different ways you could respond to these lines. By planning your response, you will be better able to protect yourself from being coerced, controlled, or pressured.

• PERSUASION
  "I know you really want to."
• BLAME
  "But you can't say no now, you've got me all excited."
• PUT DOWNS
  "I guess it's true you're frigid."
• GUILT TRIPS
  "But I gave up going out with my friends to be with you."
• PRESSURE
  "You said you loved me, why can't you show it?"
• BLACKMAIL
  "If you don't, I'll tell everyone you aren't a virgin."
• MANIPULATION
  "You're the only one who understands me."
  "I can't live without you."

Coercion is not about compliments. It's about control!