Family and Friends

What Can I Do?

Be supportive by listening and telling your loved one that you care and want to help. Don’t ask more than once for the details of the assault that she or he does not want to discuss. Let the survivor know that you are ready to listen when she or he is ready to talk.

Let the survivor make her or his own decisions. Survivors need to regain a sense of control. An important way of establishing control is being allowed to make decisions. Your support can be encouraging, but decisions must be hers or his.

Encourage your loved one to seek medical attention. Medical evidence is important even if not used in court. The Rape Victim Assistance Fund will pay for the evidentiary rape exam and sexually transmitted disease treatment/testing if a police report is made.

Remember that the survivor did not commit the crime and is not to blame—no matter what the circumstances.

Make yourself available—do not push your loved one to talk. Be aware of the difficulties and stress she or he may have in talking to police and in making court appearances. Seeing the assailant in a line-up or in court is particularly difficult.

Provide your loved one with information and educational materials about rape and its aftermath. Give them reassurances that they are normal and their reactions are understandable.

Remember to take care of yourself. If details about the assault are too difficult or painful for you to hear, help your loved one find a supportive person who can listen, such as a counselor at the Bluegrass Rape Crisis Center. Don’t overload yourself—you have your own needs. In order to help your loved one you must take care of yourself.

Give your loved one the Bluegrass Rape Crisis Center phone number. Consider calling to seek services for yourself as well.